Styles Of Courtship According To…
THE VARSITY DUDE
Opening line: “You know what, every time you watch me play, I feel so inspired.”
His game plan: He’s gonna wink at you or point at you whenever he scores
First move: He’ll give you free tickets to his games
First gift: His team jacket or a UST growling tigers yellow jacket….
First date: He’s gonna take you to a UAAP game between ATENEO and BARANGKA HIGH SCHOOL
Phone habit(s): He always talks about his great heroic game saving shots
Courting endurance: Really depends on how long the off-season is
How he will propose: After a game and winning the MVP award, he’ll ask you to be his girlfriend
THE COMPUTER KID
Opening line: Hi!!!… ASL
His game plan: He’s gonna give you all the anti-nuking devices to keep you protected
First move: He’ll give you a cyber flower
First gift: New software especially made for you
First date: He’s gonna take you to Cyber Cafe and you’re gonna chat and surf together
Phone habit(s): He always talks about computer jargons, you never understand them though
Visiting hours: Whenever your computer breaks down, he’ll be there
Courting endurance: It really depends on how much more free Internet hours he has left
How he will propose: He’s gonna ask you over one of the chat channels
THE GEEK FREAK
Opening line: “Hey groovy chick!!!”
His game plan: He’s gonna do all your homework until you realize his importance
First move: He’s gonna do all your reports and term papers
First gift: A book on Chemistry made easy starring Big Bird and Pong Pagong
First date: He’s gonna take you to a very silent place… the library
Phone habit(s): He always tries to review you for upcoming tests and quizzes
Visiting hours: Everytime you have work that requires him to go to your house
Courting endurance: As long as you need someone to do your school load
How he will propose: He’s gonna ask you in between the bookshelves in the library
THE RICH KID
Opening line: “So whatta you want?” (flips the wallet open with all the dangling credit cards)
His game plan: He’s gonna give you anything money can buy
First move: He’ll take you for a joy ride in his two-seater roadster
First gift: Anything with a price tag not lower than 10,000
First date: He’s gonna take you in his yacht for a cruise
Phone habit(s): He keeps on asking if there’s anything you need, and he means ANYTHING
Visiting hours: whenever you’re available
Courting endurance: usually lasts long enough for you to be as rich as he is
How he will propose: He’ll rent TIME SQUARE and propose on the big screen
MR. SMOOTH
Opening line: Usually he’ll call the girl and make her “bola”
His game plan: He’ll be friends with you first and then he’ll go for the kill afterwards
First move: He’ll be callin’ you ever night to try to be as close to you as possible
First gift: He’ll give you roses or a teddy bear
First date: He’s gonna take you for a stroll at the mall
Phone habit(s): He always makes you “bola”
Visiting hours: Whenever he can think of an excuse to go to your place
Courting endurance: As long as he doesn’t get that famous line “..let’s be friends na lang”
How he will propose: Over the phone (around midnight in most cases)
THE HEADBANGER
Opening line: “Pank’s nat ded!!”
His game plan: He’s gonna keep on asking you to watch his gigs
First move: He’ll give you tickets just for you to watch his gigs
First gift: Some heavy metal CD you can’t seem to appreciate
First date: He’s gonna take you to Club Dredd
Phone habit(s): He keeps on playing the guitar over the phone, heavy metal stuff of course!
Visiting hours: Everytime he doesn’t have a gig
Courting endurance: As long as you don’t say No!
How he will propose: He’s gonna dedicate this song to you and propose afterwards
THE PLAYBOY
Opening line: “You’re my one and only.”
His game plan: As far as he’s concerned, you’re just one of his many options
First move: He’s gonna call you EVERY OTHER NIGHT (guess who he calls on those other nights?!?!?!)
First gift: A Parker pen, the ones that can be bought in packs (guess where the other pens went?!)
First date: He’s gonna take you to a place where he’s sure that he can’t be spotted by his other girls…someplace like…McDonalds, Laguna
Visiting hours: Every other day (I wonder why?!?!)
Courting endurance: As long as he gets away with it
How he will propose: Like how he asks every other girl.. “Can you be my girlfriend??”
THE FLASH
Opening line: “Will you be my girlfriend?”
His game plan: He’ll ask you as soon as possible
First move: He’s gonna ask you
First gift: Oh yah, while he’s asking you he’s gonna give you roses
First date: (You have to give him an answer first before he takes you out
Phone habit(s): (You never really never got to talk to him. He is so goddamn fast!!)
Visiting hours: The only time he’s gonna visit is when he’s gonna ask you
How he will propose: refer to opening line
THE JOLOGS
Opening line: “I CRUSH YOU” (what he means is, he likes you very much!)
His game plan: He’s gonna collect coins so he can call you from the payphone
First move: He’s gonna follow you around like some goon and then he’s gonna pick your pocket to get info about you.
First gift: He’s gonna give you a pirated tape of the Streetboys’ latest album with the special participation of Aiza Seguerra
First date: He’s gonna take you to Ever Gotesco Commonwealth to watch a tagalog movie
Phone habit(s): He tries to make you bola by comparing you to Sabrina M. and Nora Aunor
Visiting hours: As long as the jeepneys are not on strike
Courting endurance: As long as…”He Crushes You”
How he will propose: “I lab u , puwede ba kitang maging syota?!?!” (—Jologs tlga)
