Uncategorized

Untitled

March 18, 2009

I’m wondering  if he really values and appreciates me.

I do not want to poison the well because he is a really nice person. I guess people do have different personalities and sometimes it is very hard to compromise… because most of the time I expect a lot. I demand. Partly because I think and know that I deserve more… because all my life, people expected much of me. And maybe because of that, I’ve been trained to give more of what is expected of me. I am passionate… I love giving him surprises. My friends might think I am too extravagant but I guess little things coupled with big gestures can really be alled extravagant when packaged beautifully. At times, I do not want to expect anymore. Because expecting a lot leads to major disappointments. But what can I do? Sometimes I get really sad because I feel underappreciated. Alam ko na hindi ako dapat humingi ng kapalit… But all I’m asking for is fair treatment. I want him to show his love for me the way that I show my love for him. Siguro nasanay lang din… ako na spoiled sa mga bagay-bagay. I’ve been showered with so many blessings from God and from other people… Oh well. I’m not ranting but I just want to share how I feel. Buti na lang siguro at magkalayo kami… at pareho kaming busy–sya sa work, ako sa studies, organizations, Kule, etc. The thing is, should I just lower my expectations? Or should I expect nothing at all?

[To my family, superfriends, and friends: Sorry kung hind ako masyadong makwento. You know me… I need time before I open up. It took me 2 years before I opened up to my superfriends regarding problems at home… It’s hard for me to talk about things that I know would burden my friends… So okay na siguro less kwento, para less mental baggage for them. Hehe. Miss you all!]

16 Comments

  • Jean Monique Sanchez
    March 19, 2009 at 10:26 pm Reply

    Hmm…. Wala lang… There are things na I share outright. But some I keep to myself muna. :)Ma-explain ko din sa inyo… Madrama kasi eh.Before, I used to share so many things and stories outright. Kwento here kwento there… even at home. But all I got in return were heartaches… instead of people being happy for me, some people pa nasa front-line para kontrahin ako. :(I know hindi nyo naman yun gagawin… Pero given my history, mahirap na talaga for me na mag open-up… 🙁 Sometimes, I just want to be selfish… even for a short time. Just so I could keep the things that make me really happy safe and all to myself. :)Remember mo with my first boyfriend? 🙁 Very sad… and traumatic for me. I was very happy then… lagi ako nagkwekwento about him. But my mom was at the front-line of the seemingly opposition. In the end, we broke up. It was terrible. :'(Anyway, given time, I will eventually share… :D*hugs*

  • Joanna Chua
    March 18, 2009 at 11:17 pm Reply

    hahaha hinde. nakakatawa kasi pakinggan ang mga native english speakers na bigla-bigla na lang magtatagalog. parang kung ako (na isang ganap na mananalita ng wikang tagalog) ang magsalita sa wikang ingles.sige, share ah! hahahaha wooohooobaka naman 10 years older yan sa yo ate moe. hahaha

  • Jean Monique Sanchez
    March 18, 2009 at 11:08 pm Reply

    Hi Nina! Thank you for the great advice. :)I'll try not to expect anything at all… and we'll see what will happen. 🙂 Anyway, I'm a bit okay now. Maybe I just needed space to vent my emotions and time to dissipate sadness.Men really are weird. Sometimes out of reason. Sometimes sweet… sometimes crazy. But I'm happy now because I've realized that WE ARE DOING WELL… if not for his parents. But that's a different story. :)I admit not expecting anything at all is quite hard to do… but I'll try. :)*hugs to you too!*

  • KIKAY KATITAY
    March 18, 2009 at 9:51 am Reply

    we have the same dilemma, Moe! 🙁 iba talaga ang mga boys. they show their affection in a different way & yes, we can't expect them to be as affectionate as us especially when you're not together. :((

  • Janina Paula Sy
    March 18, 2009 at 9:46 am Reply

    Hey, Moe. 🙂 Love can make us do things we wouldn't normally do. IMHO, maybe not expecting anything at all would be a better option. Kasi, if he actually does something for you, then it's not exactly the way you expect it to be, you would just end up being disappointed. So siguro, just let him be and let him do his thing for you. Men can't be mind readers, and so having high expectations may only compromise the whole situation of what you guys already have and share. It's all about give and take, I guess. Alam kong mahirap siguro gawin, pero the right thing isn't always the easiest thing, right? 🙂 HUG, Moe. Have faith. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *